Denial Shortcoming

It was a tough day, today. I had an exam for which I hadn't studied well during the weekend, and 2 homework papers due which I saved for the last moment, so I hadn't had enough sleep. After classes were over, I met up with a guy over lunch. It's his first year here so he'd ask a lot about how things go around here, study- and life-wise. At one point of the conversation, it hit me that suddenly I'm at the end of this stage of my education. I've been here for little short than 3 years, and by the end of this semester -which is only 3 months from now- I'll be out of here. The details of how was it like when I first arrived in here are still very fresh in my memory -- big credit goes to this blog in recording details that I could easily forget. I remember how I was picked up at the train station by a representative from the university. She had me dropping my bags at the dorm and took me straight to the local Wal-Mart without really giving me a break to rest. I didn't know what I had to buy, because my mom took care of all the packing in Kuwait so I wasn't sure what is and more importantly what is not in the bags lol. So I bought a cereal bowl, a set of 5 silver spoons, a laundry detergent and a fleece blanket. I still have all of them, and the mere sight of these items brings a sympathetic smile to my face. "Are you sure you don't need more stuff?" she'd ask, and sheepishly I'd respond "Yes ma'am that's all!". I had planned to visit a close supermarket to buy more stuff later in my own convenience, little did I know that this Wal-Mart and the adjacent Target were the closest decent shopping centers -- both about 20 minutes drive away from my dorm. "Dork!" I'd curse myself for sometime to follow.

Back to her office a couple of days later, I would meet the first Kuwaiti kid. A guy who, like me, would begin his studies in the same field of studies as mine. Time goes by and we grow to what I thought to be close friends, but as it turns out, this was just what I thought-- that's a whole other story. By this time (now), I've been roommates with people from many walks of life. So far I lived with a taiwanese, a moldovan, a korean (make that 3), a french, and 2 kuwaitis. A cousin of mine once thought I change roommates like I change outfits, which is evidently true.. but with each one I learn something new, be it a social skill or cultural-related issue. I went out with 3 girls only, but never really got close to any of them-- neither did I get so close to kuwaiti folks in town. Other than my current roommate, I've been on and off with kuwaitis as it never seemed easy to kick off a long standing relationship with most of them.
On personal level, a lot happened. My biology lab partner and first friend got engaged recently, and she asked me to join her and her fiance for their "2nd" date as a couple. A friend from my first English Composition&Rhetoric class died because of a heart failure. A 30-something y/o pakistani friend drank his first glass of alcohol in front of me, in my house, and made me swear not to tell anyone. I slept-over at some kuwaiti friends' house and accidentally stumble on their stash when I open the wrong drawer late at night, and I pretend nothing happened the next morning. People beg to keep their relationships secret coz I know, people beg for illegitimate help on studying, and others come to me in tears asking me not to tell I met them stoned or especially drunk.. and the jazz goes on and on. Drama never stops in this quiet-on-the-surface little city on the great American east coast.

In my 3 years here, I can't say I learned much about this city. Mediocre in size, it doesn't offer much to do anyway; that's what everybody has been saying ever since I came here, and now that I'm getting ready to leave, I still hear that every so often. In 3 months, I will be moving to a new university to complete the second stage of my education -- A new university, a new city, and a new phase of life. That's why I walk in the streets more alert to the arechitecture; the spirit of each quarter. I went to the university's bookstore and bought alumni t-shirts and some other show-pride merchandise. Most importantly I'm kinda trying to hang out with as many of the friends I made here in these few years as possible, without really telling I'll be leaving soon. I'm really bad at saying good-byes. A word of praise should go here to a few somebodies who were kind enough to offer their friendship, honest people make life tolerable any where. I'm slowly releasing myself from a long state of denial.

So yeah,
I got a count-down going on, and frankly I can say I won't miss it here too much. As for the friend with whom a conversation brought all these realizations into perspective, he still has a few more years to spend in drama-ville. I took a sip from my soda and resumed talking to him about what to do to pass the days. Talking to him brought some realizations to my attention, and he probably didn't think that I will still have the conversation repeating in my head. I really like the kid and hope his experience ends up to be better than mine.

Music
Dave Matthews Band - Where Are You Goin'?
(I am no Superman)
.mp3